Just another word for "different"

I was asked a question a few days ago that has been making me think, and the more I think, the more my answer has developed. They are answers I always knew. I guess as I've thought it out, it just became more developed, and so I thought I'd share it with you. :)

I was asked why Jeremy and I decided to adopt special needs. Well, first of all, we aren't adopting special needs. We're adopting a little boy, who happens to have a special need. There's a big difference. To ask someone why they are adopting special needs is to assume the need comes first. It doesn't. And it never will. The boy comes first. And really, when you break it down, he is just that. A boy. His most basic needs are the same as any other little boy. He needs a family, love, food, clothes. He needs to laugh, be happy, learn to read, feel the sun on his face and dig in the dirt. He needs to walk out of that orphanage! Oh yes, and he may need a walker and AFO's to do it. No biggie, really.

When we realized who he was and what we were being asked to do, it didn't matter that he had CP. It wouldn't have mattered if he had six arms and three heads. That's all secondary to the fact that he is ours. He needs us. There is a little boy across the world who is calling our name, waiting for us to come get him.

Secondly, we didn't "decide" to adopt him. We weren't even looking. We have six children. Phillip was chosen for us. When I saw him, I knew. This isn't about a family who needed a child. This is about a child who needed a family. There was no choice. That choice was made by Someone way bigger and mightier than me. Who were we to say no?

Special needs is an interesting idea. I read today that special needs is really just another word for "different". What's wrong with being different? Aren't we all different? As a mother of six children, I can tell you, all children come with special needs. Seriously, think about your children. All children have quirks, strengths, weaknesses, challenges they must overcome, talents they need to grow, attention problems, behavior issues, low tolerance for frustration, problems reading, struggles in math. All children have special needs. Some are just more obvious than others. Like the ones that limit your ability to walk. Should that limit a child's ability to have a family? Of course not. Does it? Unfortunately, yes. Reality.

But you know what we decided? Phillip's problem isn't going away. If we walked away from him because of his special need, he'd still have cerebral palsy. There'd still be a little boy across the ocean, in an orphanage, who can't walk. Our turning our backs on him wouldn't change any of that. Nothing would change for him. Same old, same old. All that would change is our presence in his life. We could have chosen to walk away, to not deal with it, to pretend like he didn't exist. To carry on with our life. But we knew better. We knew he existed. And once you know, you can't pretend otherwise.

Knowing any child needs you, could you turn away? I don't think so. Most adults couldn't. We are equiped to help and nuture children. When we see a child who needs help, we instinctively rally. A lost child, a child who needs a band aid, a child who doesn't own a winter coat. We are accustomed to helping with those needs. Within our own homes, some of us have children who need glasses. Some need braces. Some need medication for various ailments. What if you had a child who couldn't walk? Would you do everything in your power to help your child? Of course you would. That's what we do. We rally for our children. We rally for children, in general. This little boy needs AFO's. And a family. Is it a bigger leap of faith? Of course. Is it impossible. Of course not.

We have the opportunity to put this little boy first, to change his life, to make his life significantly better. But to do it, we have to put ourselves on the line. Our wants, our desires. Sacrifice. For one of God's children. If a little boy had called to you, would you have had the courage to hear? I bet so.

Now that I've broken this down, consider whether you could make room in your family and do this. These children exist. They are real. These are real children, living in real orphanages. And they need you. One of them could be calling your name. Adoption is not for everyone. But if one is calling your name, have the courage to listen. Visit www.reecesrainbow.org or talk to me. I have many favorites I can recommend, children who are breaking my heart.

They really are no different than any other child. They just have different needs. Their most basic and biggest need is for a family. They don't need you to be perfect or rich. They just need you.