Our three month miracle:

Seth, the day we met him, Sept 16, 2011. 

On Gotcha Day, Oct 22, five weeks later, in our apartment in Chernivsti:

Seth, this week, three month's home:

This boy is pure joy!

Once in while, God lets us watch a miracle unfold.  He allows us to be a part of it.  This is Seth's miracle. 

Happy three months home, baby boy!  You have changed our family forever.  We are so happy you are ours!  You couldn't be more loved.

My boy is a walker!!

When we met Seth at the institution in September, he seemed eager to show us how much he could do.  While he wasn't walking, he was crawling and pulling up on furniture.  His director told us he thought he could walk, with therapy.  When we went to his baby house, the director told us that Seth is motivated and wants to walk "like the other children".  And in fact, since we've come home, Seth has met and exceeded every goal in our mind.  Seth is one busy boy!  He gets around.  He just does it a little differently than our other children. 

Three weeks ago at Shriners Hospital, Seth tried out the gait trainer for the first time.  Unbeknownst to me, learning to walk is actually quite a complicated process.  We all learn to do it and take it for granted.  But Seth is just learning to take the steps.  Seth has two PT's and they work together to strengthen him, give him confidence in himself and teach him to take steps.  Once that is accomplished, he needs to learn that he can push the gait trainer forward AND take steps.  Then, he'll need to learn to support his weight, push the gait trainer forward AND take steps.  He'll also need to learn to balance while taking steps.  That's a lot to learn, but Seth is on his way to walking.

Here is Seth, today:

Step 1 of a rather lengthy process towards independence.  His day will come.  I believe it will.  Because I don't think Seth will have it any other way.  And determination and motivation are 9/10ths of the battle.  But for now, the big news is, he is walking!  A little boy, who two and a half months ago, was strapped into a wheelchair, is now learning to take his first steps.  I love Shriners motto "Helping Kids Defy the Odds".  A little boy who is defying every one of the odds placed before him.  That's my boy! 

Want to see what two and a half months will do for a pair of feet?

As far as feet go, Seth has some pretty cute ones!!

When we arrived in Ukraine, Seth had been in a wheelchair for three and a half months straight.  Seth had not had any kind of therapy or stretches since he'd been transferred.  No one had taken care of those cute little feet.  Seth's feet were so tight, I could not get them to flex, even pushing as hard as I dared.

These are pics of Seth's feet while we were in Ukraine.  Notice that his foot was so tight that it pulled downward.  We couldn't even get a pair of shoes to stay on him.  Caregivers could, however, get four pair of socks to stay on!!!  :)   

Here's his foot from a top angle.  He was not able to stand flat footed.  He was at a ballerina point ALL. THE. TIME! 

After two and a half months of stretching, AFO's and therapy, look at what we have!

This is his foot, off the ground:

And flat footed:

After two and a half months!!  That, my friends, is a miracle! 

That's what good medical care and lots of love will do for a little boy! 

In our house, we are celebrating his little successes and his big successes.  This is a BIG success!  This is when we realize we've made a difference in one little boy's life. 

Educational Matters

Seth had his first IEP assessment yesterday.  It was very informal.  Not an official placement.  Just more of a "lets get to know you and see what we have going on".  Seth and I sat at a table with no less than ten educators from our district.  It was a little overwhelming, but also heartwarming that so many cared and were being pulled in to tackle the issues of his delays.  We had the district gen ed supervisor, the district Special ed supervisor, an interpreter for Seth, and EDL liaison, the kindergarten teacher, and a nurse, just to name a few. 

Of all the elements of Seth that has concerned me and of all the decisions we have to make, his education has been the most stressful.  He is 6, going on 7 this spring, and he has never sat in a classroom setting.  He should be in 1st grade.  He doesn't know shapes, colors, numbers or letters in Russian, let alone English.  Compound that with where he is developmentally and it is worrisome.  Making the right decision for him is crucial to his success.  He is re learning potty training and learning to feed himself, how to function in a family.  Those are big tasks, on their own.  But he also has therapy three times a week and is about ready to start speech therapy, adding another day.  That's a lot of therapy.  Starting school too is enormous.  That's a lot for any six year old, but for one who, two and a half months ago, was parked in a wheelchair in the corner of an institution, it is potentially massively overwhelming. 

So I went into this meeting with a certain amount of trepidation.  I knew what I wanted, and because I'm the parent, I knew what I'd ultimately get.  I knew that what I was asking was reasonable.  What I wasn't sure on is whether they'd agree that it was in his best interest and because they are the educators and we've only had Seth a short time, their opinion mattered to me. They started off with wanting to start him pretty quickly in a mainstream kindergarten class, part time, keeping an eye on him and evaluating him for 35 days.  If he was making progress, they'd feel good keeping him there, realizing he'll need support for several years.  If he was struggling, we'd look at a self contained special ed class.  I told them if he was going to be in a mainstream class, he absolutely had to have a paraprofessional and I saw the kindergarten teacher visibly give a sigh of relief that I had thought to ask, because it's not just for Seth.  It's also for her.  lol  I was surprised that they didn't even blink.  Usually getting a para is very difficult because it's expensive.  I was pleased that they realized this was a necessity to his success.  Honestly, I was fairly pleased with this option, except I have this nagging feeling that he really is not emotionally ready to handle being away from us in a classroom setting, even on a part time basis.  I have no way to really explain "school" to him and he has no concept of it.  He has enough going on, and while the kindergarten teacher is amazingly phenomenal, I personally think he's better served for now, here at home with me and his brothers.  So I pitched my plan.

I asked them to check the compulsory age for education (which I knew).  They scrambled a bit to find it and for a child who has not been enrolled, it's 8 years old.  So I can keep him home without officially "homeschooling" him, until he's 8.  Once they realized that, a huge weight was lifted off everyones shoulders.  You could feel it.  They knew as well as me that this is a child who is simply not emotionally ready for that type of structured learning.  Not outside of our home.  Not yet. I asked them what they thought of me keeping him home til fall.  They seemed a little surprised. Pleasantly so.  We talked about where he is, in all aspects, and the progress we see in him in such a short time, and that I really believe sending him to school now would be detrimental to his growth, overall, but that if we waited, he could succeed in the fall.

So we came to an agreement.  He will stay home til fall and be enrolled then as a mainstream 1st grader (one year behind), with a para and full services (PT, OT and Speech).  We are still working out the logistics, but at least now, we have til fall to work out what is best for Seth, and what Seth needs will change dramatically between now and September.  He's changing every week.  He will be a very different little boy by next fall, well on his way to being healthy in every way and being ready and receptive to learning.  By waiting, he will have firmer understanding of the language, I will be able to explain to him what school is and what's going on, and behavior expectations, he'll be potty trained again, he'll be able to feed himself, he'll be better bonded in our family and he'll be happier and more secure.  Also, his little brother Noah will be right down the hall in the kindergarten room. 

I cannot tell you what an immense relief this was to have them agree with me that this was in his best interest, rather than have them rushing in to "solve" the problem.  I was relieved that they were able to see "the whole boy" and not just the lack of education.  I have a new respect for their compassion.  I knew as his mom, I had the right to do whatever I felt was best for him, but to have their backup was a big confidence booster that even though this child is new to us and this situation is new to us, my instincts as his mother are spot on. 

What I can offer to other parents walking this walk is to come to that meeting knowing your stuff. Know the language. Visit the district office.  Go to the website.  Have your options well thought out. Know an IEP from a 504 and what services are legally yours to request.  Know the role of a para.  Know what mainstreaming with resources is.  Know what a self contained classroom is.  Understand where that fits in and where it does not.  Visit a self contained classroom.  Get to know the teacher.  See how that fits and feels.  Do all the research before you try to advocate for your child.  Being able to talk their language solidified my spot as a competent decision maker for Seth.  It also greatly reduced the length of time the meeting took because I knew what they were talking about and they didn't have to stop and explain everything to me.  Do. Your. Homework. and then advocate like crazy.