Our three month miracle:

Seth, the day we met him, Sept 16, 2011. 

On Gotcha Day, Oct 22, five weeks later, in our apartment in Chernivsti:

Seth, this week, three month's home:

This boy is pure joy!

Once in while, God lets us watch a miracle unfold.  He allows us to be a part of it.  This is Seth's miracle. 

Happy three months home, baby boy!  You have changed our family forever.  We are so happy you are ours!  You couldn't be more loved.

My boy is a walker!!

When we met Seth at the institution in September, he seemed eager to show us how much he could do.  While he wasn't walking, he was crawling and pulling up on furniture.  His director told us he thought he could walk, with therapy.  When we went to his baby house, the director told us that Seth is motivated and wants to walk "like the other children".  And in fact, since we've come home, Seth has met and exceeded every goal in our mind.  Seth is one busy boy!  He gets around.  He just does it a little differently than our other children. 

Three weeks ago at Shriners Hospital, Seth tried out the gait trainer for the first time.  Unbeknownst to me, learning to walk is actually quite a complicated process.  We all learn to do it and take it for granted.  But Seth is just learning to take the steps.  Seth has two PT's and they work together to strengthen him, give him confidence in himself and teach him to take steps.  Once that is accomplished, he needs to learn that he can push the gait trainer forward AND take steps.  Then, he'll need to learn to support his weight, push the gait trainer forward AND take steps.  He'll also need to learn to balance while taking steps.  That's a lot to learn, but Seth is on his way to walking.

Here is Seth, today:

Step 1 of a rather lengthy process towards independence.  His day will come.  I believe it will.  Because I don't think Seth will have it any other way.  And determination and motivation are 9/10ths of the battle.  But for now, the big news is, he is walking!  A little boy, who two and a half months ago, was strapped into a wheelchair, is now learning to take his first steps.  I love Shriners motto "Helping Kids Defy the Odds".  A little boy who is defying every one of the odds placed before him.  That's my boy! 

Want to see what two and a half months will do for a pair of feet?

As far as feet go, Seth has some pretty cute ones!!

When we arrived in Ukraine, Seth had been in a wheelchair for three and a half months straight.  Seth had not had any kind of therapy or stretches since he'd been transferred.  No one had taken care of those cute little feet.  Seth's feet were so tight, I could not get them to flex, even pushing as hard as I dared.

These are pics of Seth's feet while we were in Ukraine.  Notice that his foot was so tight that it pulled downward.  We couldn't even get a pair of shoes to stay on him.  Caregivers could, however, get four pair of socks to stay on!!!  :)   

Here's his foot from a top angle.  He was not able to stand flat footed.  He was at a ballerina point ALL. THE. TIME! 

After two and a half months of stretching, AFO's and therapy, look at what we have!

This is his foot, off the ground:

And flat footed:

After two and a half months!!  That, my friends, is a miracle! 

That's what good medical care and lots of love will do for a little boy! 

In our house, we are celebrating his little successes and his big successes.  This is a BIG success!  This is when we realize we've made a difference in one little boy's life. 

Educational Matters

Seth had his first IEP assessment yesterday.  It was very informal.  Not an official placement.  Just more of a "lets get to know you and see what we have going on".  Seth and I sat at a table with no less than ten educators from our district.  It was a little overwhelming, but also heartwarming that so many cared and were being pulled in to tackle the issues of his delays.  We had the district gen ed supervisor, the district Special ed supervisor, an interpreter for Seth, and EDL liaison, the kindergarten teacher, and a nurse, just to name a few. 

Of all the elements of Seth that has concerned me and of all the decisions we have to make, his education has been the most stressful.  He is 6, going on 7 this spring, and he has never sat in a classroom setting.  He should be in 1st grade.  He doesn't know shapes, colors, numbers or letters in Russian, let alone English.  Compound that with where he is developmentally and it is worrisome.  Making the right decision for him is crucial to his success.  He is re learning potty training and learning to feed himself, how to function in a family.  Those are big tasks, on their own.  But he also has therapy three times a week and is about ready to start speech therapy, adding another day.  That's a lot of therapy.  Starting school too is enormous.  That's a lot for any six year old, but for one who, two and a half months ago, was parked in a wheelchair in the corner of an institution, it is potentially massively overwhelming. 

So I went into this meeting with a certain amount of trepidation.  I knew what I wanted, and because I'm the parent, I knew what I'd ultimately get.  I knew that what I was asking was reasonable.  What I wasn't sure on is whether they'd agree that it was in his best interest and because they are the educators and we've only had Seth a short time, their opinion mattered to me. They started off with wanting to start him pretty quickly in a mainstream kindergarten class, part time, keeping an eye on him and evaluating him for 35 days.  If he was making progress, they'd feel good keeping him there, realizing he'll need support for several years.  If he was struggling, we'd look at a self contained special ed class.  I told them if he was going to be in a mainstream class, he absolutely had to have a paraprofessional and I saw the kindergarten teacher visibly give a sigh of relief that I had thought to ask, because it's not just for Seth.  It's also for her.  lol  I was surprised that they didn't even blink.  Usually getting a para is very difficult because it's expensive.  I was pleased that they realized this was a necessity to his success.  Honestly, I was fairly pleased with this option, except I have this nagging feeling that he really is not emotionally ready to handle being away from us in a classroom setting, even on a part time basis.  I have no way to really explain "school" to him and he has no concept of it.  He has enough going on, and while the kindergarten teacher is amazingly phenomenal, I personally think he's better served for now, here at home with me and his brothers.  So I pitched my plan.

I asked them to check the compulsory age for education (which I knew).  They scrambled a bit to find it and for a child who has not been enrolled, it's 8 years old.  So I can keep him home without officially "homeschooling" him, until he's 8.  Once they realized that, a huge weight was lifted off everyones shoulders.  You could feel it.  They knew as well as me that this is a child who is simply not emotionally ready for that type of structured learning.  Not outside of our home.  Not yet. I asked them what they thought of me keeping him home til fall.  They seemed a little surprised. Pleasantly so.  We talked about where he is, in all aspects, and the progress we see in him in such a short time, and that I really believe sending him to school now would be detrimental to his growth, overall, but that if we waited, he could succeed in the fall.

So we came to an agreement.  He will stay home til fall and be enrolled then as a mainstream 1st grader (one year behind), with a para and full services (PT, OT and Speech).  We are still working out the logistics, but at least now, we have til fall to work out what is best for Seth, and what Seth needs will change dramatically between now and September.  He's changing every week.  He will be a very different little boy by next fall, well on his way to being healthy in every way and being ready and receptive to learning.  By waiting, he will have firmer understanding of the language, I will be able to explain to him what school is and what's going on, and behavior expectations, he'll be potty trained again, he'll be able to feed himself, he'll be better bonded in our family and he'll be happier and more secure.  Also, his little brother Noah will be right down the hall in the kindergarten room. 

I cannot tell you what an immense relief this was to have them agree with me that this was in his best interest, rather than have them rushing in to "solve" the problem.  I was relieved that they were able to see "the whole boy" and not just the lack of education.  I have a new respect for their compassion.  I knew as his mom, I had the right to do whatever I felt was best for him, but to have their backup was a big confidence booster that even though this child is new to us and this situation is new to us, my instincts as his mother are spot on. 

What I can offer to other parents walking this walk is to come to that meeting knowing your stuff. Know the language. Visit the district office.  Go to the website.  Have your options well thought out. Know an IEP from a 504 and what services are legally yours to request.  Know the role of a para.  Know what mainstreaming with resources is.  Know what a self contained classroom is.  Understand where that fits in and where it does not.  Visit a self contained classroom.  Get to know the teacher.  See how that fits and feels.  Do all the research before you try to advocate for your child.  Being able to talk their language solidified my spot as a competent decision maker for Seth.  It also greatly reduced the length of time the meeting took because I knew what they were talking about and they didn't have to stop and explain everything to me.  Do. Your. Homework. and then advocate like crazy.

New Year, New Look

I'm changing up the blog a bit.  I put up a newer picture of him, because while we all love the little boy in the blue overalls, that picture is a year and a half old.  :)  Now that he's "back", I want to move forward.  Have no fear, his cute little 5 year old face is still in a pic down below.  We changed our subtitle to be more fitting to what's going on now in our lives- "We teach him about life.  He teaches us about the determination of the human spirit".  We toyed with changing the layout and decided to stay with this one.  I like the birds.  Because they are like him.  He's taking off.  He's soaring.  He's going to new heights. 

I've been struggling with what to do with this blog now that Seth has been home for two months.  I still want to keep everyone updated on his progress, and we know this road is still very long and very steep.  I'll be posting more about cerebral palsy, because I think I have a responsibility to teach and inform about this very manageable special need.  Also, we now know a lot of people who have either adopted children with cerebral palsy, have a biological child with cerebral palsy, or are in process to adopt and are researching to learn what it's like, day in and day out. 

I'll also still be advocating, because honestly, adoption took our breath away.  Ukraine changed us forever.  I feel  a big responsibility to those children.  Every time a child is adopted from Ukraine, I cry.  Because I know the cost.  I know what it's like to take a child out of a mental institution.  I know what it's going to cost that family.  Not in dollars, but in effort, in tears, and in work.  I know what it's like to slowly see the light return to a child's eyes.  I know what it feels like to watch life be breathed into them again. 

We found Seth, in large measure, because of two blogs.  One was a person advocating for another child, which linked me to Reeces Rainbow and Seth.  The other was someone who advocated for Seth.  Advocacy blogging leads to adoption and adoption saves children's lives.  I love children, and especially after being in Ukraine, I will do almost anything to save a child's life.

Seth survived a hell I cannot imagine for six and a half years.  I simply cannot imagine.  He has experienced things I will never know and will never understand.  We are helping him overcome that.  We're teaching him about family.  About love.  About life.  Meanwhile, Seth is teaching us about inner strength, about the determination of one little boy's spirit, about what happens when a little boy refuses to give up, despite all the odds.

Bring on new beginnings!  Bring on 2012!

Giggles and Grins

Because today has been somewhat cruddy, and because I don't want to mislead you that this is all giggles and grins over here, here is a taste of what today was, which by the way, is a fairly typical day:

Seth got up at 4:30am.  Thankfully, my husband did the dirty work on that one and I slept.  Our day started with a bang.  All seven up, six heading to the mall.  I got the three boys fed, feeding Seth since his table manners and skills are still somewhat lacking.  I cleaned him up, gave him his medicine, got the other boys dressed, brushed all three boys teeth, gave them appropriate vitamins, brushed their hair, and went to change Seth.  Seth associates naked with "bath time" and since "bath time" is his favorite time, changing him is always a struggle.  Today was no different.  I'd no sooner get his clothes on and he'd be pulling them off again, howling all the way.  I told him "nyet" and put them back on, only to have him naked again in a few seconds.  He was mad, mad, mad!!  I finally wrangled him into some clothes and temporarily appeased him by allowing him to play at the bathroom sink while I got myself ready.  He was already in a bad mood becaue of the skipped bath and now I was wanting his glasses on.  He fought me, but I won that battle.  AFO's?  Not today.  It just wasn't worth it.  They are hurting his feet and we're waiting for his new ones to come in.  I decided to leave well enough alone.  I got everyone loaded into the car, three boys in car seats, plus three girls, and off to the mall we went.

We got to the mall and I got out our huge BOB stroller, since we still don't have his wheelchair.  Strapped him in, and in we went.  We strolled into the mall, said goodbye to the girls and the boys and I headed to the reptile store.  The reptile store went reasonably well except I got chastised by a six year old boy for having Seth's stroller in the turtle room when there was a sign that was posted that clearly said "no strollers allowed".  I explained to him that Seth can't walk and I don't want him to miss out on anything because of that.  Including the turtle room.  The boy looked unconvinced but decided to forgive the discrepancy.  Also, when I wasn't looking, Seth almost unlatched one of the snake cages.  Yuck!! 

We headed down to the play area, stopping by Kohl's to use the restroom first.  I asked Noah and Adam if they needed to potty and they said they didn't.  We went downstairs using the elevator instead of the escalator, much to Adam's dismay.  I was praying for few children at the play area.  I wanted Seth to be able to get out of the stroller and play.  Of course, it was packed.  Beyond packed.  It seems that every single child in all of Spokane was located in that play area.  Seth would have been trampled.  Because I couldn't leave without letting Adam and Noah play, Seth got to sit in the stroller and watch everyone else.  :-(  But then, he decided to entertain himself.  Stimming is like his own little built in play system.  And stim he did!!  I turned him around to face me, thinking maybe it was all too much.  He still stimmed, but less.  Ten minutes into playing, Adam announced he needed to use the bathroom.  Of course....  So boots and coats back on, through the maze of sugar crazed kids and back to the bathroom we went.  We met up with our teenagers and decided it was time to go home.  We gathered our things and headed out to the car.  I loaded everyone in, buckled car seats, loaded the huge BOB stroller and off we went. 

I dropped Noah, Taylor and Sarah off at home.  I took Adam and Seth with me to take Hannah to a friends house and we returned to make some lunch.  Gave Noah and Adam their lunch, fed Seth his, gave him more of his medication, and cleaned him up.  After lunch, I decided Seth could take a beloved bath and stripped down an incredibly delighted little boy.  He played and relaxed, flipping from tummy to back, and back to tummy again, laughing and shrieking in sheer joy.  When the water started to cool, I took him out and got his clothes out, but decided to hold him and rock him first.  We sat there for a bit, enjoying the calm and snuggles, which he doesn't allow very often. I was looking into his eyes, reveling in the moment, when I felt warm wet running down my leg as he peed on me....  lovely.  Seth.  More or less non verbal.  Learning to communicate.  Learning a new language.   Back to the tub he went, our cuddling time abruptly ending. 

I changed my clothes, got him back out and fed him again.  One peanut butter and jelly sandwich, one piece of french toast, two scrambled eggs, half a container of yogurt and a handful of kix later, he was ready to get down. I gave him his medicine again.  I went to pick up Hannah and took her over to another friends house for a birthday party and I'm now preparing to make some dinner.  I've also vacuumed, unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, cleaned two bathrooms, did some banking, played with the dog and did some laundry. 

Have I mentioned I have six other children??  One of them is currently building an incredibly high tower out of #10 cans in our kitchen.  You know that's going to topple over and you know what that means..... 

I told Jeremy I want to go shopping tonight.  Alone.  All.  By.  Myself.  Heaven!!

So am I discouraged by the inconvenience?  The work?  The pee?  Sometimes. But it's short lived.  Because it has it's moments.  Like when I was holding him (right before he peed on me).  When his eyes locked on mine for several minutes.  His beautiful gray eyes.  And I saw it.  I saw trust.  And love.  And healing.  I saw something bigger than myself.  I saw the beginning of the rest of his life.  I saw a little boy who's had nothing.  And I think of how far he's come, in such a short short time.  When I focus on me and my comfort, it's easy to get down, to worry, to get discouraged.  When I remember to shift the focus back to Seth, to his comfort, to his quality of life, everything changes.  And that gets me through.  He's worth it.  He is absolutely worth it. 

On second thought, maybe it is all giggles and grins over here.  Beauty and sweetness, rolled into what one little boy has given to us.  And all so very worth it.

Seven Week home check in... Amazing progress!!

This was Seth, at the institution, two months ago, right before Gotcha Day:

He sat in this same line, day after day, for four straight months, watching the others rock and moan and grind their teeth.  For four months, this was his whole entire day, while we sat here, putting together our dossier to bring him home. 

This is Seth today, seven weeks home....

In the gait trainer at Shriners, taking steps and learning to walk:

Eating mashed potatoes, completely on his own.  Feeding himself without my help, for the first time:

Seth is starting to speak English, and he understands us.  He is wearing his glasses most of the day.  He has AFO's.  He's playing with toys, engaging with his brothers, laughing more, sleeping well, understanding what it means to be loved and learning more every day.

Seth said his ninth word today.  As he was taking steps in his gait

trainer and we were all cheering him on, he said "YEAH"!!!  

We agree Seth!  Yeah for you!!  Yeah for families!! 

Seth is home now.  But there are 100,000 children just like him in Ukraine.  147 million in the world.  Just like him.  They need someone to rescue them.  They need someone to believe in them.  They need someone to cheer them on.  They need someone to say "Yeah!!". 

Could you possibly be that someone?

Remember, they don't need us to be rich.  They don't need us to have a huge home.  They don't need us to be perfect.  They just need us.  A family.

Click here to learn more:

http://reecesrainbow.org/