I just checked shipping and our dossier is in Paris France. It should be in his country by Tuesday at the latest, where our facilitators will translate it all into the correct language and submit it to the government, whereupon we will be issued a travel date. Surreal to me that in less than a month, Jeremy and I will be in a foreign country, bringing home a little boy. His needs are so basic, and yet so incredibly profound. Things that Heavenly Father intended every child to have... a family, love, food, security. At some point, something went terribly wrong for this little boy, and the world his Heavenly Father intended and needed him to have fell apart. At that point, his mother walked away from him.
What compels a mother to abandon a little boy? To leave a helpless, dependent baby and walk away, assuming that child is better off in an orphanage, than in her care? Some of that is cultural. He's a child with special needs. In his country, children with special needs are abandoned at break neck speed. Doctors counsel mothers to leave them, that they will be a burden, too expensive, too much work. They encourage them to give them up to state run institutions, where they have very limited or no therapy, little education and inadequate care and nutrition. I wonder if she thinks about him, wonders about him, worries about him. I assume she does. What mother wouldn't? She knew his chances of being adopted were slim to none. He wasn't abandoned with the intention of being adopted. He was abandoned because doctors deemed him too much work, and because of cultural teachings, she gave in. He was destined to live out his life in a mental institution... but Heavenly Father intervened for this little boy.
How does abandonment affect a child? I'm not sure, but we will soon find out. We'll learn his story and how a sweet, kind, mild, loving child like him ended up in the mess he's in. How do you parent a child coming from a background like this? We don't know. We don't know how we'll heal him from that kind of loss and rejection. Nothing we've done as parents thus far has prepared us to parent a child coming from this kind of experience. But we know our Heavenly Father will sustain us and inspire us, giving us everything we need to help him. Our faith is strong. Heavenly Father wouldn't ask us to do it if He weren't going to strengthen us to be up to the task. But we know it won't be quite the same as the myriad of challenges we have had parenting our other six children. He will teach us though. Heavenly Father will teach us. And so will Seth. As we listen to him and love him, he will teach us what we need to do and he will heal. Of that, we are certain. He will learn to love and trust. He will learn what it means to have a family. He will learn he has a mother who always comes back.
If you are so inclined, you can still donate to our adoption fund. Just click the button at the right that says "Help Bring Phillip Home". I really, really stink at asking people for anything, much less money. Please know that if you choose to help, your money will be put to very careful and very good use. We are very wise stewards of our money. Your money will be used directly for this adoption, and yes, we do get 100% of it. We appreciate your support and prayers more than I can express. But please don't feel obligated or guilted into helping us. That would never, ever be our desire. We covet your prayers and emotional support way more than we covet your donation.
Please continue to pray for us. Pray for us to be sensitive and intuitive to him. Pray that he will trust us quickly, that he will know of our compassion for him. Pray for our other children. For my girls. One in particular, who is struggling mightly at the thought of having me gone for so long. My heart breaks daily for her as I watch her struggle. I hurt that she hurts. Please pray for her. Pray that I will be mom enough to parent three teenagers girls, a pre teen, and two young boys, as well as a young orphan with cerebral palsy who can't speak our language. What on earth are we thinking?? :) See? We need lots and lots of prayers. We can't possibly do this without prayers. But we know with your prayers, we will accomplish mighty things in this little boys life.
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