A mothers heart

Spent part of my day working on a photo book for Seth.  A photo book is a book of pics of our family, home, school, church, in our case Shriners Hospital, our dog, Seth's bedroom, his new siblings, his grandparents, the outside of our house, the outside of our home in winter when there's five feet of snow on the ground, my kids playing in five feet of snow.  Really, anything that would interest Seth and make him feel more comfortable with the journey we're expecting him to undertake.  We included pics from all the fun we've had this summer- trips to the beach, hikes, baseball games, water parks, Montana.  Also, pictures from last Easter, Halloween and Christmas.  We want him to know we're a fun family and that he can expect his next six years to be significantly more fun than his previous six.  The book is mostly for Seth, but will also be shown to the judge, the orphanage director, caregivers... really, anyone who wants to see it.  I also ordered a 5x7 and 8x10 picture of him to frame and hang on our wall, right alongside our other children. 

We continue to collect things we need for our trip.  We picked up a high powered antibiotic for Jeremy and me today.  Just in case.  And two money belts, a power converter and adapters.  Oh, and some Cars bubble bath.  Because how can you go to adopt a little six year old boy and not come equiped with bubble bath??  :)

So, last week I asked you to pray for the impossible.  I asked you to pray that our dossier would be submitted, and because we asked, against all odds, it happened.  Next step is a travel date.  Because I know that Heavenly Father knows what we need, I will leave that date open ended.  This is the hardest part of our journey for me.  I ask that you pray that His will be done.  He knows the conflicts we have coming up, and He knows which child/ children needs us most urgently at certain points. He knows, and so I put my faith in Him to choose the best timeline and the best travel date.  Please pray that whenever we travel, it will all work out. 

There's no way to be absent from your children for five weeks and not miss things.   It's the missing that is already making my heart ache.  When I think about it, I literally get nauseous to my stomach.  I'm already looking at the calender and thinking, "If I leave on this day, I should be back by this day, and so maybe I'll only miss..."  But I will miss.  And there's no way to make that up to the six I'm leaving behind.  It's their sacrifice.  Their sacrifice for a little boy who's never had a mom sit through a soccer game for him, or walk him to his first day of school.  Never had a mom who's shown up for his open house at school.  My kids understand that.  My kids are willing to take on that sacrifice, for him.  It's their mothers heart that's breaking.  Their mothers heart that is already anticipating "lonely".  Because truthfully, it's not the money that's the killer.  It's the time away from my children.  Pray that whatever the travel date, it will be okay with my heart, and that time will pass quickly, that as soon as possible, I will be flying home with America's newest citizen, and our newest little Lunnen. 

Oh, and in case you still want to but haven't, I believe you only have about another week to donate to our fund.  Please, please do not feel obligated, like you have to.  I can assure you, if you are praying for us, that is way more valuable to us.  But if you would like to help us bring Seth home, time is short.  Click on the button that says "Help bring Phillip home".  Confusing, I know.  Phillip's not his name.  To confuse you more, neither is Seth.  :)  At least not yet.  We can't disclose his real name, but that will become his middle name.  He'll be Seth ______ and will be able to choose which he wants to use.  But for now, you'd be helping to bring Phillip home.  And we so greatly appreciate it.