One year ago today...

One year ago today, we met a little boy who shattered our hearts into a million little pieces. 

We had spent the day before traveling to Seth's region with a photo in hand.  We expected to find this:

 

And instead, found this:

 

 

 

 

A little boy very hurt and very traumatized by the effects of transfer.  He was shut down emotionally.  Quite frankly, we were very nervous.  I sent a message to a friend of mine, a person who had met him a little over a year previous to that, a lady who described him as sweet, gentle natured and engaging.  Her response to me: Get him out of there.

 

We did.  And now, a year after that first meeting, we have a

 

water loving...

 

 

swing riding...

 

 

toy playing....

 

 

school attending...

 

 

 

 

little boy who has learned how to live, to really really live.  This little boy who spent 6 years in a play pen and three months strapped into a non moving wheelchair, is now a walking, learning to talk, self feeding, fair attending, swimming learning, bike riding, sunshine loving, incredibly cherished child who has exceeded every hope and dream we held for him a year ago. 

 

If you want to be involved in a real life miracle, adopt a child from a mental institution in Ukraine.  Choose a child so hurt and so filled with despair that he has absolutley no other option but to shut off emotions and stop living. Give that child a family and then step back and watch a miracle happen.  This little boy blows our socks off.

 

Is he healed?  Is he over the trauma?  Well, no.  He's not.  It will take many years to fully heal Seth.  He's a sweet and gentle spirit, who deeply missed out on things that rightfully should have been his.  He felt that to his core.  Seth has abandonment issues that we deal with very gently.  Seth is learning to trust, and he does trust, but with one eye clearly watching the door, making sure we aren't leaving without him.  He knows what being an orphan feels like.  He knows he never wants to go there again.  He trusts as much as he possibly can, but he also desperately wants to keep what he has.  We are incredibly mindful of that, of the emotional scars and battles that he is waging every day.  Quite frankly, this is Seth' biggest battle.  His daily struggle to understand and believe that he is safe and ours forever.  He is nowhere near comprehending "forever".  Not because he doesn't understand the english word or can't understand the concept, but he has no past experience with it and no reason to trust it.  How long will it be before Seth really understands that he never has to worry about where his next bed will be, or who his next caregiver will be, or where his next meal is coming from?  We don't know.  The path to healing a child with trauma is long, difficult and heart breaking.  But it is completely and totally worth every painful, frustrating, completely maddening, rewarding, incredibly sweet, redeeming moment of it.

 

Any family who adopts comes away with things that will never ever leave their mind.  Memories of things they saw, kids they met, experiences they had that are forever etched in their brains.  For us, it is the few girls, and many boys and men we left behind at Seth's institution.  It was the daily visits we made to see Seth, where while we were wearing freshly laundered, clean clothing, he remained in the same urine soaked clothing he'd been in for the past five days.  It was watching boys string out baskets and baskets of clothing to dry, all along the fence line.  Badly worn clothing, mismatched, well past their prime.  It was the realization that not one of these boys owned a stitch of clothing to their names, that clothes were rotated and re worn among boys of similar size, frequently without the luxury of a washing in between.  It was understanding that orphans don't have jammies at night.  Jammies are extra clothes to be washed and hung out.  Jammies are a luxury they are not afforded.  Instead, clothing is layered to keep kids warm, and clothing is worn for so long between washings, and shared among so many, that what results are clothing in very poor repair and care.

 

Helping Hands USA is currently trying to ship out 17 boxes of clothing to the girls, boys and men in Magala.  Seventeen boxes.  Eight hundred pounds of brand new jeans, jackets, sweaters, skirts, dresses and warm shirts.  4-5 brand new clothing items per person for those who live behind the gates of Magala. 

 

 

(anyone know why this pic is so teeny tiny??)

 

 

 

 Clothing that will keep them warm this winter as temperatures drop well below freezing.  Keeping them warm, but most of all, reminding them that someone, somewhere is aware of them and cares for them.  Helping Hands USA bought the clothes.  They need our help to get them there.  I'm asking you once again to open your hearts to a group of children and men who really have very little, who have none of the things you and I take for granted.  If you are able to do so, please consider contributing to the chip-in to get those boxes to Ukraine.  We need to raise $650.  In four days.  Yes.  You read that right.  We have four days.  Can it be done?  I'm honestly not sure.  I hope so.  But to do it, we need your help.  I will be making a donation, because I know how great the need is.  I know how Seth was dressed.  I know how long he wore those clothes.  I know how badly they smelled.  We know how little this institution has, and we know how many they're trying to serve.  New clothing is a luxury they simply can't afford.  Please help Helping Hands USA give them the gift of quality new clothing.

 

You can help in three ways.  You can donate directly to their website at:

 

http://givethemjoy.org/

 

You can mail a donation to:

 

Helping Hands Usa

Nadia Postevka

3719 E. Beaumont ST.

Springfield, MO. 65809

 

Or you can use the chip-in on my blog that goes directly to Helping Hands USA.  All three ways is a tax deductible donation, with 100% of the funds going to those at Seth's institution.

 

Every donation helps.  Every dollar helps. 

 

 

We love these boys.  These boys changed us.  They changed and broke our hearts forever. Every one of them needs a family.  Needs love.  Needs an education.  Needs things to do so their minds stay active.  Needs equipment in workable condition.  Needs nutrious food.  Needs clean clothing to stay warm.  Needs.  Not wants.

 

They are the neediest group of boys I know.  How blessed I feel to have found Helping Hands USA, who gives love to these boys regularly.  Please help us help them.  Thank you.

 

I will end this with the words to one of my favorite hymns, A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.  Remember when you have done it for one of the least of these, you have done it for Him.

A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief

A poor wayfaring Man of grief

Hath often crossed me on my way,

Who sued so humbly for relief

That I could never answer nay.

I had not power to ask his name,

Whereto he went, or whence he came;

Yet there was something in his eye

That won my love; I knew not why.

Once, when my scanty meal was spread,

He entered; not a word he spake,

Just perishing for want of bread.

I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,

And ate, but gave me part again.

Mine was an angel’s portion then,

For while I fed with eager haste,

The crust was manna to my taste.

Then in a moment to my view

The stranger started from disguise.

The tokens in His hands I knew;

The Savior stood before mine eyes.

He spake, and my poor name He named,

“Of Me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto Me.”

 

48 hours

It took just 48 hours for 14 donors to raise $552.00. Money needed to get this:

 

to them:

 

They were washed:

 

 

And packaged for transport to Portland and then to Ukraine:

 

 

They will soon have new chairs:

 

 

For those who donated either through the chip in or the mail, I cannot express enough gratitude for what you've helped us achieve. Your response and generosity is heart warming. You've done a very, very, very good thing. My heart swells for what we were able to accomplish together.   

All hail to Shriners! Now, let's get them shipped!

Seth has a team of two PT's , an OT and a speech therapist.  Among the best of the best in our town.  Seth is incredibly lucky to have such quality therapists on his side.  Whenever people ask who Seth sees, I'm told we have the best working for our boy.  I know this is true.  I frequently leave therapy with tears in my eyes because while they are amazing, I'm not sure they really grasp just what they are doing for Seth or just how significant it really is to him.  They have become some of my very favorite people and I feel like we are in partnership to help Seth overcome what he has been through. 

The first appointment Seth ever had in our country was with Shriners Hospital.  In fact, we had that appointment set up before we even traveled to Ukraine.  Pretty incredible that while a little boy sat in a wheelchair in Ukraine, lacking in health care and without a family, our country was already setting up the care he'd need.  Say what you will about the USA, but that is phenomenal.  We landed in the US on Monday and Seth was at Shriners on Wednesday.  At that first appointment, he saw a myriad of doctors and therapists, had xrays and got a prescription for AFO's.  We also established a relationship with Shelly, Seth's PT at Shriners.  Seth sees Shelly every week. 

So when Helping Hands USA came to me with a request for wheelchairs for the six men and boys at Seth's institution, I, knowing the physical condition these boys are in, asked for Shelly's advice for sturdy yet affordable wheelchairs that would best accommodate them and their needs.  She directed me to their equipment lady, who, rather than making a recommendation, told me she'd like to donate to our cause.  She told me to come see her the following week and she'd have some things set aside.  So on Wednesday I came to Shriners and was stunned when I was presented with this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

and even these:

6 wheelchairs.  5 that tilt so that those with poor upper body control can still comfortably sit. 

And three bath seats for easier bathing.

Blown away.  What do you say when "thank you" is completely and totally inadequate?  What do you say when you're speechless?  What do you say when an organization that you've loved all along suddenly has done something to win your undying gratitude forever?

Over the course of two days and two trips, we loaded all the wheelchairs, trays and bath seats.

We cleaned them up, pumped up tires, made some minor adjustments and got them ready for their next leg of the journey- a semi truck ride to Helping Hands USA in Missouri.

Noah and Jeremy taking off to meet the semi:

And they're off!

The wheelchairs will arrive, via semi, in Missouri, within the next couple of days, where they will be transported to a ship to take them to a group of boys in an institution half way across the world in Ukraine. 

And these chairs:

Will be replaced with these:

Pretty dang amazing! 

Have I mentioned I love Shriners? 

So all we need to do now is help with shipping costs to get the wheelchairs to the institution.  Helping Hands USA gets an amazing shipping rate.  We paid over $200 to mail our stack of adoption papers to Ukraine.  They can ship all six wheelchairs and the bath seats for $400.  That's all we need to raise to finish pulling this off for the boys and men at Seth's institution.  What should have cost us $15,000 will only cost $400.  That's what happens when a bunch of people doing the right thing, work together for the good of those who need it most.

Won't you please help?  Even a little bit helps.  It's the last stretch of a very worthwhile effort.  Please be a part of it.

Click on the chip in on my blog and you will be directed to Helping Hands paypal account. Or, if you'd rather, you can mail a check to: 

Helping Hands Usa
Nadia Postevka
3719 E. Beaumont ST.
Springfield, MO. 65809

If you pay by check, please make a note that you'd like this to be applied to shipping on the wheelchairs.

Thank you for your help.  I appreciate it.  Helping Hands USA appreciates it.  Most of all, the boys will appreciate it.

And I'm sharing "Frank's" picture again.  Because he lives inside those walls. He needs a family. And maybe his mama will see him today and go get him out.

This boy....

This boy is on my mind.

This little guy is my friend "Frank".  Frank isn't his real name.  I know his real name, just like I know many other things about him.  I know Frank is curious, smart, fun and sweet.  I know he likes to play in the dirt and jump on the trampoline.  I know he is all boy.  I know he has brown eyes and brown hair and that he usually needs a bath, as most boys do.  I also know he needs a family.  Badly.  Frank is 12 years old and living in an institution in Eastern Europe.  I know what Frank's future is going to be like if that family doesn't find him soon. 

While we were adopting Seth, Frank quickly became one of our favorites.  Jeremy and I think about Frank every day.  Frank is on my mind.  A lot.  Frank is a little boy who ended up at the wrong place.  Frank is independent, a good eater, is happy and content.  We never saw him lose his temper or act out.  He's in with an older groupa, teenagers ages 16-24.  The institutions highest functioning groupa.   Frank is physically healthy. He walks, runs, feeds himself, speaks, does puzzles and interacts with others well.  For the life of us, we can't figure out why he's in an institution.  But he is.

Today, Frank received something he's never had before.  An advocate.  Really, a team of advocates.  People who are willing to fight for him.  People to help him.  I've agreed to be Franks "Zero the Zeroes Hero".  That means I'm helping to raise awareness and grant money to help Frank find a family.  I'm actually quite happy to be doing this, because I know what an amazing little boy he is.  I can't imagine him spending the rest of his days where he's at.  I want to see him in a family, building airplanes with legos, going to school, joining boy scouts, playing soccer.  This little boy has so much potential.  But first, he needs a family. 

You can help Frank find a family by donating to his grant fund.  Our goal is to get Frank to $100.00.  That's all.  And if you go to donate, and he's already at $100, it's okay to get him to $120.00, or $150.00.  Every little bit helps.  Because Franks chances of finding a family are slim.  He's older.  He's a boy.  And he's in an institution.  He has three big strikes against him.  Statistically, his chances are not good.  But Frank now has people fighting for him.  I know him.  I know the little boy in the picture.  He is real.  Tonight, he's going to bed on the cruddy mattress in the hot hot building with 70 other boys and men who are all in his institution, and he has no way out unless we help him.  Frank deserves more. 

Can you be a part of helping Frank?  If so, please click on the link below and donate to his grant fund through paypal.  Or, you can mail a check to Reeces Rainbow (address is on the website) and mark it with "Frank".  Let's help Frank reach his first goal- $100.00 in his grant fund. 

http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=Frank

If you are interested in adding an amazingly sweet little 12 year old boy to your family, please feel free to leave me a comment here with your email address.  I would be so happy to tell you more about Frank. I moderate all comments before they are published and won't publish your email address. 

Special delivery!

Two weeks ago, I told you about a need for a group of orphans in Ukraine, a group of people you had never met.  A group of people that Jeremy and I have met.  A  group of people who changed Jeremy and me forever.  Jeremy and I visited them every day for seven weeks while we waited for our adoption to be complete.  I asked you to open your hearts and consider their needs, in a time when everyone is watching finances closely.  I asked Helping Hands USA what they needed most, and of all the big, expensive luxury items they could have named off, they said fans.  I asked Helping Hands USA to consider CD players also, so the boys can have music in their lives.  Together, we formulated a plan, and somewhat nervously, I presented that plan to you. 

I hoped that we could raise $500 in a week to cover the cost of the fans and CD players.  I didn't know, honestly, if we could do it. Certainly not in a week. I didn't know if I could express their need in such a way as to raise that kind of money. 

I was so overwhelmed with gratitude when I heard from Helping Hands USA that just 4 DAYS LATER, you had helped to raise $720.00 for Seth's former institution.  I was humbled and so very grateful.  Not only were fans and CD players delivered, but they had money left over to buy a few other things for the boys, girls and men who live behind that gate: 

Three of the fans and CD players:

One fan and CD player, delivered to Seth's front room, as promised:

Art supplies:

Diapers:

Food for all the men, boys and girls: 

And shoes for two men who want to go to church but couldn't because there were holes in their shoes and they couldn't walk that far in them:

Thank you, thank you for your willingness to step forward to help a group of people you've never met.  They are some of the sweetest people I know, with the purest hearts, and they have the hardest lives with little or no hope of ever getting out.  I feel their hopelessness and their despair and I want so much to brighten their day and let them know that somewhere, someone cares for them, is aware of them, and is willing to sacrifice for them.  Thank you for being those people.  If some good can come out of Seth's time spent in the institution, I want this to be it- that a group of men otherwise forgotten are receiving your love and compassion. 

If you have not already done so, please click on this link and "like" Helping Hand USA on facebook.  They are doing a fantastic job of serving a very needy and very, very deserving group of orphans.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Helping-Hands-Usa/239641486137013

For the friends we left behind

Some things change you forever.  Adoption is one of those things.  Visiting and getting a child out of an institution is another.  Leaving behind kids/ men who will live out the remainder of their lives there is one more.  Jeremy and I came back from EE a lot less naive.  Our eyes had been opened.  We realized in ways we never truly did how very blessed we are.  Our education system, health care system, our culture....  all providing things for Seth that he simply would never have received had he stayed in EE.  And while we breathe a sigh of relief for Seth and for all the other children being adopted, we worry about the ones who will remain behind that gate forever. 

Earlier this week, I ran across videos and pictures taken by an organization, Helping Hands USA.  The videos were of Seth's institution.  More particularly, his groupa.  To see those girls and boys in the very same seats, doing the very same thing they were doing eight months ago was both heartbreaking and eye opening.  Because I know that in two years, five years, ten years, twenty years they will still be there.  Doing the same thing.  While Seth starts school, gets better at walking, learns to be independent, goes to church, makes friends, learns to read, learns to ride a bike, swims, play at parks, graduates high school, goes to college, gets a job, gets married, has children, and lives out his happy long life, the boys and men still there will sit and do the very same thing they were doing eight months ago when we walked out the doors forever with Seth. 

Oct 2011:

June 2012:

Oct 2011:

June 2012:

Oct 2011:

June 2012:

And here's one more thrown in, because I want so badly for someone to go get this awesome little boy!

Oct 2011:

June 2012:

See?  Not much changes for them.  Life got way better for Seth when he got a family, but all those boys and girls left behind.....  nothing changes.  Since coming home, Jeremy and I have thought about those kids every day.  We've worried about them.  We've thought about things we could do to help them.  And then, one day last week, I "found" Helping Hands USA.  Helping Hands USA is a US non profit organization who visits this institution, taking them food three times a week and clothing as needed.  They operate solely on donations, taking none of the money.  100% of money donated goes to goods donated to these boys and girls in these pics. 

I asked Helping Hands USA (on facebook, by the way.  Please go "like" them!) what the kids are most in need of.  He said four fans for ventilation and four CD players.  Jeremy and I were in that institution in Sept and Oct.  It was stuffy, with little air circulation.  And the smells.....  well, you can imagine the smells.  Fans would make an enormous difference.  I can't imagine how hot that building must be.  It's made of bricks and bricks attract heat.  It's in the upper 80's in their country this week.  That building is like an oven.  Fans are not a luxury.  They are a necessity. 

See this awesome young man right here? 

This young man speaks three languages and has an amazing singing voice.  He sings a national anthem that made me cry every time.  He is often heard singing for the boys and girls in their groupa.  Their entire institution loves music.  A couple times a week, the music teacher comes to visit, and when he does, some of the boys will go out on concrete and dance.  Music is a big part of their culture.  Because of this, Helping Hands would like to also donate 4 CD players, one for each of the main rooms, including the room this young man is in.  The sounds in an institution are not always pleasant.  I'll leave it at that.  And there's not much to do.  A CD player would go far in keeping their minds occupied and entertained.  Having been in this very room every day for six weeks, I can attest that the sounds of uplifting music will brighten their lives considerably. 

To make this work, Helping Hands USA needs to raise $500 in one week.  They are visiting the institution on July 20th (next Friday) and want to take the fans and CD players with them when they go.  I'm asking all my facebook friends, my blog friends, my IRL friends and friends of Helping Hands USA to please consider a donation to bring very simple pleasures to our friends living lives we can't imagine.  Helping Hands USA prefers cash donations, because goods can be purchased in country a lot less expensively than if purchased here and mailed to them and the less money spent on mailing, the more can be spent to directly benefit those behind those gates.  Each cash donation is tax deductible and you will receive a receipt.  My goal is to see that $500 gets raised in six days.  Can you help?  I have 71 official followers of my blog and almost 500 facebook friends.  Together, we can do this!  Please, please help us!  Help us help those we left behind. 

This is Helping Hands USA's website.  If you click on it, it will take you to their paypal page.  If you'd prefer, you can also send a check to their Springfield Missouri office. 

http://givethemjoy.org/

Also, if you are on facebook, please go to their page and "like" them.  And then "share" them.  I've been talking with them for several days now and I love their hearts.  This is currently the only institution they are working with, and they love those they are serving. 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Helping-Hands-Usa/239641486137013?ref=ts

While we were at the institution, whenever visitors came, it was a big deal.  The boys were always thrilled for the break in routine.  The boys each have a photo book and they'd bring them to us over and over again, showing us the people who have visited them.  Visitors are a BIG DEAL!  Please know that if you choose to help, we thank you.  I thank you.  I know, first hand, what your donation will mean to those kids.  Helping Hands USA has said they will take pics, and I, of course, will post those.  Be a part of this.  Just $500 dollars.  Together, we can do this! 

One more set of pics for you, to re emphasize the power of adoption.  Of hope.  Of a family... 

Oct 2011:

July 2012 (home 8 months):