Meet Seth....

If you're our facebook friends, you've probably already seen these pictures, but just in case you aren't, we wanted to post a few pics of our high points of the past couple days.  We have been able to meet Seth and have started the processes to finalize his adoption and build those bridges to help him start from where he's at and move forward.  There is much work to be done.  Institutionalization is never a good way to raise a child.  As we expected, he is delayed in every way, some more significant than others.  We were prepared for this.  We went into this with our eyes wide open.  We are re-claiming our son, back from institutionalized life, and it will be hard work, but he is worth it.  A child is always, always worth it.

Seth loves to cuddle.  He loves physical touch.  He is such a sweet, sweet little boy.  We will have many hours of snuggles with this little guy! 

Whoa, can this kid put down some food!!

Yummy food, followed by yummy apple juice!

It's okay, sweet little man.  We've got you now.

Ukrainian culture and the SDA

But first, a couple more apartment shots.  I want to show you the tiny washer and the cute kitchen.  Really, it is pretty charming.  I think the kitchen is my favorite room.  But it is small.  Bedroom/ living room, bathroom and kitchen.  That's all.  Fine for Jeremy and I but consider that Ukrainians live in places this small, with their whole families.  This isn't a hotel the way we envision hotels.  Lots of tenants buy or rent these and live here year round.  Some, like ours, are rented out on an individual bases.  Whoever lives in them are responsible for upkeep and improvements, so even though the halls and elevators are pretty old, the apartments themselves can be very nice.  It depends on who live in them and how they decorate and care for it. 

So here's the bathroom, with the washer.  Imagine doing the laundry I usually have to do at home.... 

And the kitchen.  The stove scares me.  It's gas.  The first night, I was going to be ambitious and cook.  Jeremy grabbed the lighter and turned on the gas and I envisioned the whole place going up in flames.  I quickly decided that maybe sandwiches would be a better dinner option.  Oiy! 

Ukraine has many beautiful cathedrals.  Here is one of them.  It may be famous.  I have no idea.  :)

Quaint cobblestone roads line much of the town, especially the downtown area:

Ukrainians are CrAzY drivers.  They drive on sidewalks too, and park anywhere.  They double park, park on sidewalks, will stop in the middle of the road.  It's a little insane!  This is a typical parking area:

Properally dubbed "Russ-bucks" by another adopting family, this little cafe is quite the happening spot:

Steet musicians in traditional Ukrainian garb:

Lots and lots of street vendors in the downtown area.  I'll have to spend more time looking when I don't have a facilitator needing us to hurry back.  :)

A sweet little group of babuskas allowed me to take their picture.  Once again, in more traditional Ukrainian clothing. 

Another pretty (and probably famous) cathedral:

Judging from the amount of security surrounding this building, Jeremy and I assumed it was fairly important.  Turns out it's the Department of Foreign Ministry. 

More crazy Ukrainian parking.  Now I know why our facilitators have us use drivers...

Street vendors line the street where the SDA building is.  Probably because foreigners (i.e. tourists) line the SDA building:

Sign at the SDA building.  I find it somewhat humorous (and a little sad) that orphans are lumped in with sports:

Side gate you go through to get to the office:

Through this door:

Up those stairs:

We had a pic of us with our facilitator, Serge, but it's not on the camera.  Friends of ours took one of us too, as a back up.  Thank goodness they did.  I'll add that later.  Until then, here's a pic of our dinner....  fine, traditional Ukrainian cuisine.  :)

Later today, we pick up our referral and make a very long drive to his region.  Today is the last day our little boy will not know that we love him.  That someone loves him.  From tomorrow forward, he'll never be lonely again. 

Our visit to Ukraine, first installment of pictures

I think I can now say we're in Ukraine.  :)  In fact, we are in the great city of Kiev.  Tomorrow, we leave to go to Seth's region, so today, before and after our SDA appt, we walked around and saw the beauty and culture surrounding this city.  It's old.  It's not uncommon for our driver to point to a building and say it's 1,000 years old.  1,000 years.  The US hasn't even been a country that long, and they have buildings still standing from that era.  It's a city ripe with history and I love that!  I cannot get enough of people watching.  It's an interesting culture.  Everyone drinks and smokes.  We stick out like a sore thumb.  The buildings are old style soviet union block housing.  Everyone lives in apartments.  We have yet to see a house.  The outside and inside of the apartment complexes are usually run down, decaying.  But the inside of each apartment is owned by a tenant and can be much nicer.  Ours is a modest apartment.  It's served our needs. 

This is a view of the outside of our apartment:

The hall and elevators:

Our front door:

Our living room/ bedroom/office

Our kitchen:

We have a washer in the bathroom.  Yes, you read that right.  Here is our dryer: 

This is very common.  We see clothes lines drying all over town.  Lots and lots of towels and sheets. 

These next three are pics of our view from our window:

Coming up next, some of the culture, magnificent cathedrals and the SDA building. 

Because of Dakota

Here we sit, in country, waiting to rescue our little boy.  A boy who's waited for six long years.  And make no mistake.  This is a rescue.  Today, I read through all the adoption news that I had missed and came to this:

Dakota.  A sweet little boy, born with delays, assigned to live out his life in a mental institution.  I've known about Dakota for several months.  I learned today, he died while waiting for someone to come get him.  He was eight.  This hurts my heart.  I've seen pics and I'm pretty sure I know what he died from, and it sure wasn't his mental delays.  How can you love a little boy from clear around the world, and cry when you learn they've died a horrible, lonely, hungry, desperate death?  But I do.  Because I love children. 

This little boy is in the same orphanage that Dakota was in:

Nolan has flat feet.  Incredible, huh?  Why hasn't he found a family?  Please, please, please, someone go get this little boy.  Nolan is seven and doesn't deserve this.  We'd go get him but he's too far away from Seth, requiring a seperate dossier and a lot more money.  Yes, we've talked about it and looked into what we'd need to do.  That's how badly I know he needs out of there.  Don't let what happened to Dakota happen to Nolan. 

These kids are real children, and they need families.  If we can do this, you can do this too.  We're proof you don't have to be rich or have the perfect family.  They don't need rich or perfect.  They just need you.  Consider what your family can do to help a little boy.  A little boy like Nolan.  He is a child of God and he needs help.  He needs a family.  He needs you. 

Here is Nolan's link on Reeces Rainbow.  Please consider saving Nolan. 

http://reecesrainbow.org/nolan117

How do you know you're ready?

When the only thing left on your to-do list is to re-paint your toe nails and copy your taxes.  :)

It's time.  A process that should have taken us eight to nine months will be done in five.  I believe there's a reason for that.  I believe it's because he needs us that bad.  Bad enough to move mountains, speed up slow moving governmental entities and allow us to slide in under the wire of so many cut offs and delays.  We have truly been blessed.  There is no way it could have gone this fast if we were merely acting on our own.  Further proof that Seth belongs here, with us.  Now. 

In just a few days, Jeremy and I will board the biggest plane we've ever flown on, to fly fourteen hours to get to our son, to tell him he finally has something no child should ever be denied- a family.  By this time next week, we will have our referral in hand and will be on our way to his region, to tell him that against all odds, we found him, and we're bringing him home. 

The hardest part is yet to come, and we know that.  Being away from our children will be difficult.  I already miss them so bad I ache.  I've never been away from my children for this long.  The only time I've been away for longer than a weekend was when my dad died, and then, Jeremy was here. 

Traveling home for fourteen hours with an orphan will be difficult.  Keeping any child entertained and happy for that long is hard.  Doing it solo, with a little boy who is fresh out of an institution, who will be traumatized and homesick, who is a virtual stranger, who speaks a different language and has CP will be grueling.  That's an understatement. 

Integrating him into our home will be challenging and at times, frustrating.  He's been neglected in every way possible.  Kids are resilient, and Jeremy and I are tough, but we are in for the challenge of a lifetime.  We know that.  We will need to learn to navigate the waters of trust issues, bonding, cerebral palsy, therapies, IEP's and advocating like crazy for a child who needs us. 

We have so much to learn.  And Seth needs us to hit the ground running.  So we will.  Remember that we never said this would be easy.  We're not doing it because it's easy.  It's not.  We're doing it because it's so darn worthwhile.  Because he's worth it.  Because his right to a family, to love, to therapy, to an education, is far more important than our right to an easy life. 

Please, please keep our family in your prayers while we meet him, discover who he is, and learn how to best help him.  Pray that his heart will be prepared for us, that he will trust quickly and easily, that he will feel peace.  Pray that Jeremy and I will have that parental intuition with him right from the start, that as he and I pray together, that we will be led to know what's right for Seth, a child we barely know.  Pray that we will have wisdom, compassion and above all, faith- faith in Heavenly Father, in His plan, a plan that we don't always understand.  Faith in a little boy who is stronger than me and has already overcome more than I can comprehend- rejection, abandonment, institutionalization, neglect.  Faith that if he's overcome this much, he will overcome so much more once given a chance, love, a home and a family. 

Believe in him.  Believe in this little boy.  He has so much to teach us.  This little boy is going to amaze us all!  I know that.  I know that way down deep in my soul.  He is going to change the very fabric of our family, in so many good ways.  In a year, we are going to wonder how we ever made it this far without Seth.

Welcome to the next phase of our journey....  :)

Ten

There's a little boy on the other side of the world, who is sitting in a crib right now.  Because he can't yet walk, they won't let him play on the floor.  It's part of their culture. It's likely he's not walking because they won't let him out of the crib to strengthen his muscles.  Vicious cycle.  He may or may not have any toys to play with.  Depends on whether the caregivers thought to give him any.  He might just sit there, looking at the walls.  Thinking. 

He's watching the door.  Wondering if today could be the day.  He's wondering where his mama and papa are.  When they will come to rescue him.  And tonight, he will go to bed, disappointed again.  He'll wake up tomorrow, and repeat it all.  Sit, hope, watch, wonder, disappointment, sleep.  It's been his life every day for six years now.  And that would be his future too.  No education, no therapy, no possibility of a job, marriage, family.  Just a crib.  And the walls.  And disappointment.  How much sadness can one little boy's heart handle? 

In a week and a half, we will fly out to get him.  To rescue him from his crib, from his life.  We will give him what he needs.  A family, so much love, an education, therapy, hope, a future.  In two weeks, we'll walk through the orphanage door and he will be brought to us.  As he is brought down the hall, he still won't know what's going on.  He won't know til he enters the room and is told.  He'll be told that today, he's been chosen.  That today, his mama and papa came.  That he's coming to America.  He'll know he now has a mama and a papa, six siblings, a big house, a school, therapy, a church, and more toys than he's ever seen in his life.  And absolutely no crib in sight.  I can't imagine what thoughts will race through his head, what emotions, what hope, and yes, what fear.  Can there be any greater joy for a child? 

Two thousand, two hundred and seventy four days spent in a crib. 

Ten more to go.  Just ten more. 

Two week check-in

In two weeks, Jeremy and I will be on a plane, flying to Eastern Europe.  In two weeks, our lives will change forever.  In two weeks, our eyes will be opened to the fate of orphans in third world countries, and especially the fate of orphans with special needs.  I expect that Jeremy and I will never be the same.  We will view the "needs" we have in a totally different light.  After we get home, we will drive up to our six bedroom home, complete with cable TV, closets full of clothes, buckets and baskets filled with toys and three cars (although none of them fancy or new).  As we talk on one of our five cell phones, we will open our freezer to more food than orphans see in a year.  We will, I'm certain, remember the little friends we made half way around the world.  And our hearts will break for them.  Our hearts will forever be changed.  We will assess what a "need" really is.  We can already feel that coming. 

So what are we feeling right now?  Excited, nervous, scared, worried, lonely, hopeful, helpful, blessed, fearful, overwhelmed, stessed, anxious, ready, not ready...  And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

Do we think this will be easy?  Ummm. no.  How could bringing home an orphan, institutionalized his entire life, with CP, who doesn't speak our language ever be easy? 

Will we struggle, cry, worry and fret?  Yep. 

Will we see progress?  Every day.  Progress will be measured in small steps.  Small increments.  Moments of personal victory. 

Will we see success?  Of course we will.  Not that he will definitely overcome all, because we certainly don't know that, but he will certainly overcome more than if we left him in an orphanage. 

Will we have days where we wonder what we were thinking?  It's almost certain.

Will we have regrets?  Momentarily, maybe.  I'm being honest here.  Long term, no. Of that, I am certain.

Why?  Because in the end, Jeremy and I recognize that his need for a family, his right to live outside of an institution, his right to live, trumps our right to have an easy life.  Because in the end, his needs are more important than our comforts. In the end, we know what his most basic need is, and we can undoubtedly fill it.  His most basic need is to have a family, to be loved.  Something that no child should ever be denied.

Jeremy and I are not delusional enough to think this will be a piece of cake.  We did not enter into this ever thinking it would be.  We know it will be dang hard.  Probably harder than anything we've been asked to do before.  Does that mean we shouldn't do it?  Of course not.  Because He who asked us to do it will also give us what it takes to do the job.  And we know the blessings will far outweigh the trials.  We know that watching a child take off and soar will be worth any amount of effort, toil and tears that is required. 

Not everything in life is supposed to be easy or comfortable.  If your life is easy, you probably are not stretching yourself far enough.  Our biggest growth comes from those things that are hard. We can do hard things.  We can most definitely do hard things for a child.  A child who has nothing... when we have SO MUCH.  Look around you.  Look inside yourself.  Let hard things change your life.