Overcoming and Becoming

Fifteen months next week.  That's how long Seth's been home.  That's how long he's had a family.  That's how long he's been a son.  A brother.  You want to know what I think about older child adoptions?  I think they are amazing.  I think they are also amazingly hard.  It's hard to see what institutionalization does to kids.  It's hard to see them fight their past, to overcome things that should never have happened to begin with.  It's hard to watch a child hurt, and it's hard to heal that hurt.  I alternate between being furious at his birth mom and being furious at the country who did this to him.  No child should ever have to overcome what he's been through. 

To take a child who is completely shut down, traumatized, delayed, non verbal, neglected, understimulated.... and watch them change into the person they were meant to be all along.... happy, connected, healing, learning, communicating, loved, confident, strong...  That, my friend, is a miracle to watch.  Older child adoption is a beautiful thing.  Completely and totally worth it.  Worth every struggle, every worry, every prayer, every tear, every frustration, every sleepless night.

Seth has taught us things we never knew we didn't know.  He's taught us more compassion, more love, more patience.  Watching my children fall in love with him, circle their own wagons, fight for him, grow with him, protect him..... well, that's been an awesome thing to watch.  To see them develop an aching in their heart for a messy, hurting little boy from across the ocean.  To see their eyes opened.  To watch them become his biggest cheerleaders.  Family. 

Seth's now in school..  He's a fast learner.  He's curious.  Inquisitive.  A problem solver.  He's blowing goals out of the water, learning new things every single day.  This boy.... this boy who came home not able to feed himself or brush his own teeth, this boy who was obsessed with water, became overwhelmed at everything, was completely sensory deprived, had likely never been read a book.... well, look at him now.  He's doing puzzles, stacking blocks, independently navigating an IPad, learning colors, shapes and letters.  Even more important than all of that though is his emotional health.  I think Seth has aged at least five years in the last 15 months.  In the video below, you can see it happening.  You can see him becoming healthier, stronger, more confident as the days go by.   He's firmly attached, happy, bonded.  He tries to be obedient.  Usually.  :)  He's learned his needs will be met promptly.  He's learned to trust.  He's learned we will not hurt him.  He's learned we will not leave him.  He's learned we will always act in his best interest.  He's learned what family is and why every child needs one. 

This little boy testifies of why children need families.

 

Every. Single. Day. 

This video was made by a friend of mine.  It's in chronological order, starting with the day we met him and ending just a few weeks ago.